I guess I just want to share bits and pieces of what God was speaking to me during those two weeks surrounding the surgery...
As we drove to Oregon for the surgery, I was completing my homework for the Bible study that I am in. A couple of things stood out for me. First, I was reminded that I had no doubt that this was where God was leading me. And knowing that, I was willing to go through the physical difficulty of surgery and recovery for an end result that would be much better than what was before. Then God reminded me that it works just the same in my spiritual life. You see, I have really struggled lately in my spiritual life with giving it all - particularly that last little bit - to the Lord. I've been so scared of the hard part of a trial, even though I know that when I follow Him completely, the end result is way beyond any good I could try to make up on my own. It's worth it. I was willing to do it physically, but why not spiritually? I was convicted and I am letting go that I may reap something greater in the Lord. (I do still want to grab it back now and then)
Next, a verse really stuck out for me as I studied:
But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. Isaiah 43:1-2
What really hit me was the "when"...not "if". As I walk with the Lord, I WILL pass through the waters and the rivers and walk through the fire. And the Lord who created me will be with me...they will not overflow me...I shall not be burned or scorched. As I prepared to go into this physical trial, I was comforted.
I didn't really know at that time just how much that verse would mean to me. There were times when I felt that I could not bear another minute that I kept thinking, "He is with me...my God is with me...they will not overflow me..." I clung to that. Even when I didn't feel the reality of it, of Him there, I knew He was because I trusted His word.
As you know, there were many ups and downs and discouraging times. I am so blessed that the Lord reminded me of His word:
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18
Not worthy to be compared...not even worthy...WOW, how my God loves me - I could be reminded that one day, this would be a blink, a "paper cut" in time compared to what I will one day experience with my Savior for eternity. Oh, and to try to imagine the unimaginable of His lavish love revealed fully to us...Praise Him!I am also so very thankful for online friends that encouraged me every day with FB comments and emails. I hadn't thought of all the scripture that pertained to me at that time:
We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 53-4
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
Peace, I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea. Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling. Selah Psalm 46:1-4
His word is alive and active! I DID make it through all that stuff, and I AM feeling better, praise the Lord! Now, I desire to continue to give over to Him all that He asks so that He can make me new, even through the most difficult of circumstances. I know those difficulties will be worth the end result!
Oh, and one more thing...I prayed that God would be glorified in this situation. In my mind, that meant that I would breeze through it all quickly. I was wrong. He still knows best. He is glorified in this, and we have only seen a glimpse of it. I know He is working it all for His glory and our good.
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